Clare was the first one to get one-on-one time with Juan Pablo this week. In typical Clare fashion she could no stop gushing about how this is her life now. "If you told me a year ago I would be here in St. Lucia falling in love with the man of my dreams I would have told you you were crazy!" Oh Clare, I believe the crazy one in this sentence is you. Juan Pablo stuck her on a speed boat and the two sailed over to a yacht. Clare was immediately thrown back in time to Vietnam when the two of them "swam in the ocean" and she was apprehensive about returning to the water with Juan Pablo after past events. Leave it to Juan Pablo to tell her that everything will be okay. Side Note: Juan Pablo saying "Its okay" will become a recurring theme this week. They then talked about her crazy hometown date where Juan Pablo raved about her family the whole time. Seriously dude?
The sun set and the two had a dinner that was accompanied with a card from Chris Harrison. Juan Pablo gave Clare the fantasy suite card and after Clare read it aloud she asked him if he was sure about this. After the way he treated her about swimming in the ocean and how inappropriate it was I don't blame her for asking him again if he was okay with this. Openly spending the night with a woman on national TV is not a trait of a role model. Juan Pablo told Claire that what happened in Vietnam is different to where they are now. This is week 8 and he is not playing anymore games. If he wants to spend the night with someone he's going to do it. Clare of course was on board and the two retreated to the fantasy suite. As Clare talked about how she is falling in love with him he looked like he could have cared less. These two really only have a physical attraction and nothing else. Even though Clare is crazy, this date was just dry. Im sure these two, "swam in the ocean" again that night.
Juan Pabs had a good night with Clare, but he was quickly shifting gears to Andi who was his next date. Andi has been my girl since the beginning. She is so classy, down to earth and smart. She is someone who is way to smart to be affiliated with a show like this, but here she is. Juan Pabs took her to the streets of St. Lucia where a festival was taking place. The two played drums, talked awkwardly with little kids, played a game of pick up soccer with those kids, drove a land buggy and ended up at a water fall. Throwback to their first date anyone? Reminder, their first date was about three weeks ago. We are working on bachelor time people.
At the waterfall Juan Pabs and Andi talked about her family and the two were giddy. They had a definite connection and he seemed more comfortable and playful with Andi then he did with Clare. Andi is a go with the flow girl and Juan Pablo loved that about her. After they dried off from the water fall the two went to dinner where Andi expressed her concerns with fitting into his life and Camilla's life. Juan Pablo explained to her that he understands her concerns and that he always listens to everything she says. Andi agreed to the fantasy suite and she expressed how they had the perfect day and that she is, "on cloud 9!"
Well that cloud 9 mentality went to shit the next morning when Andi was running for exit door of the fantasy suite. As it turns out Juan Pablo is just a selfish, sexist, immature douche bag behind closed doors and Andi immediately realized that this was not the guy for her. A woman who the day before said that she was on her way to falling in love with him had a change of heart and no longer wanted to be near him. To Andi the fantasy suite was horrific, but if you ask Juan Pabs he will tell you that they had a fabulous time filled with cuddles and laughs. He really likes Andi and he said that she could definitely be his wife. Ha, oh Juan Pabs!
The producers stuck Andi on a deck overlooking the beautiful island of St. Lucia as she continued to talk shit about el bachelor. She expressed how everything was about him. If she was about to talk about something from her past he immediately turned it around on him and told her stories about him. Apparently Juan Pabs likes to name drop people he has met through his job and did not care at all what Andi had to say. During her time looking off into the distance she came clean and said that she is not in love with him and that she will never be in love with him. She wants to leave, but she wants to tell Juan Pablo a few things before she does. During this entire speech America as an audience finally found a real person on this show. We have all dated assholes but not all of us do it on television.
As Andi continues to simmer in her newly found hatred for el bachelor, Juan Pablo picks up Nikki The Nurse for the final date of the week. Juan Pabs tells the cameras that he has no complaints with the other two girls. He spent all day seeing Clare in a bathing suite, literally thats all he had to say about their time together, and how spending time with Andi just gets better and better. After giving his review of the other two women, Juan Pablo was packing up a picnic basket as Nikki The Nurse emerged from the woods looking like a slutty Pochahantus. Don't believe me?
They rode their horses down to the beach, drank some champagne and then frolicked in the ocean. Mere child's play.
At dinner they talked more about the future and then Juan Pabs gave Nikki the fantasy suite card and she accepted. Once they were in the fantasy suite Nikki told him that she loved him and all Juan Pablo did was kiss her numerous times. That is all this guy does with the ladies. Usually we see more of a connection between two people this close to the final rose, but its all the same stuff we have seen the past 8 weeks. Snooze.
You always know shit is about to hit the fan when Chris Harrison shows up. He talked to Juan Pablo about how he feels about all of the women and how sometimes the language barrier can be a bit of an issue. Juan Pablo assures Chris Harrison that he really likes all of these women. He is then shown video messages of all of the women pouring their hearts out to him and recanting all of the great times they have had together. GTs ladies!! The final video that was shown was Andi. Andi told him how she wants to talk to him about a few things that do not belong in a video message. Juan Pablo walks away from the TV screen while the camera cuts to Andi walking up a hill with her game face on.
Juan Pabs thinks that Andi just wants to get some feelings off of her chest and he believed these were good feelings. Wrong buddy. So so wrong. He greets Andi with a soft kiss and Andi wasted no time getting right into things. She began to tell el bachelor that the fantasy suite date did not go the way she thought. She then asked him how he thought it went and he told her he thought they had a great time. Andi then told him how he was rude and disrespectful and the way he treated her is not how you treat someone you care about.
Andi then threw a bomb at him: "I don't love you and I will never love you." What was Juan Pabs response? "Ess ohhkay." No, its not okay. She then continued to lay into him saying that he never asked her one thing about herself the entire time in the fantasy suite, it was all about him. And then he reminded her that he had an overnight date with Clare the night before. Juan Pablo told her that he was just being honest in which Andi tells him, "There is a difference between being honest and being an asshole!"
Like a normal person who is about to get engaged to someone, Andi wants hint to know about what religion she practices, her political beliefs, how she wants to raise her kids and where she stands on social issues. Juan Pabs tells her that he did not know any of those things. Andi felt that he never wanted to get to know her and how its not okay to brush somones feelings under the rug. Juan Pabs, like every other man, turns it around on Andi and tells her that she should have spoke up and said something in the fantasy suite but she didn't. In order to try and trick Andi, Juan Pabs asks her what religion he practices. Without any hesitation she said Catholic. Bam! Lawyered.
Andi then brought up another conversation they had in the fantasy suite about how Andi barely made it to week 8 and how Juan Pablo said that she got there by, "default." Default? Default? The pretty boy continued to tell Andi that he never said that word because it is not in his vocabulary. He doesn't even know 'whats thats means'. The not knowing English was cute the first few weeks, but come on Juan. These ladies have taught you plenty of words cut the act.
Juan Pablo told her that he respects her and continued to tell her "ess ohhkay." Andi was not going to let him have an easy way out. She told him that its actually not okay to treat people like that and that he is wrong. She told him that she is going to leave and he walked her to the van to take her back to the states. Juan Pablo said that he would never fight with a lawyer, but we all know thats just a huge cop out. She stomped him anyway. Andi still felt secure in her decision to leave and continued to tell the cameras that he just doesn't get it. Its not a language barrier, its just him not being a good person.
Now, what did we all just learn from this? We learned that in the ten plus years on this damn show we finally watched a woman see through an asshole, call him out on it, then leave a show and take back her life. Andi will forever go down in The Bachelor books as the classiest, normal, badass woman to ever grace the show. Andi got out early, but Nikki and Clare are still left to deal with the man who is hated by America more and more every week.
Clare and Nikki were the ones who won by default in the end. Juan explained to them the reason why Andi left and while Clare was ready to gloat, Nikki was pissed. Andi was her best friend there and she was in disbelief that she left. At this point I want Juan Pablo to end up with Clare because two crazy stupid people deserve each other. Nikki still has some normal in her.
Next week its The Women Tell All where all of the women bring up their problems with el bachelor and with each other. Here is to hoping these two next weeks fly by. Im ready to said adios to el bachelor.
For another bonus video this week, Jimmy Fallon is at it again when he has The Roots reenact the fight between Andi and Juan Pablo. Take a look