Before we get into the crazy, the first normal family we saw was Nikki The Nurse's. Juan Pablo was transported to Kansas City were Nikki stuffed him with BBQ and then made him get on a mechanical bull. Real smart there Nikki. As she watched her man buck around on the horse Nikki The Nurse contemplated the idea of telling Juan Pablo that she was in love with him. "Even though I can't say it out loud. I do trust my feelings," Sorry Nikki we have all heard this line before.
Now enter the Ferrel family who welcomed Juan Pabs with open arms. Nikki introduced him to her mom, her dad, and her two hot younger brothers. During dinner we also learned another fun fact about The Bachelor franchise: Juan Pabs flys first class to all destinations while the sorority sisters bum it in coach.
After telling the parents about their international excursions, like any good girlfriend of the bachelor, Nikki begins to explain to her mother how even though it has been a short amount of time everything feels so natural. And like any good mother would, Nikki's mom pointed out that a mental attraction is just as important as a physical attraction. Nikki's mom told her she just wants to be happy and she seemed totally on board with the whole situation. No Nikki's mom, you need to grill her more! Juan Pabs then sat down with Nikki's dad and told him how her and Nikki's connection is just, "Eaze!" For those who still have a hard time understanding Juan Pablo's words he said the word easy. He just adds a Z where an S should be. This was cute the first few weeks, but this act is starting to get old. Nikki's dad tells Juan Pabs that he trusts his daughter and that she will make the right decision and they will be on board with whatever they decide. Come on, where is the parental disapproval? Alright, bring out the hot brothers! It would have at least spiced that night up.
When Nikki walks Juan Pablo out to the car after meeting the parents she is still hesitant to tell him that she loves him. The two spend time on the front porch kissing like teenagers, and then the car starts up and Juan Pablos eyes dart over to look at the car. He looks like he is ready to kick it out of the Ferrel house! Nikki walks him to the car and does not tell him that she loves him. She is disappointed in herself and we are disappointed because the first twenty minutes of hometowns was a huge snooze fest.
Juan Pablo stayed in the south to see Andi who lives in Atlanta Georgia. Andi explained to him that he had her do some crazy things such as soccer, karaoke, and dancing. I am sorry thats not anything crazy, thats like my Friday night. The district attorney needs to get out more. But seeing as though he "made" her do all of those things, she in return gave him something crazy to do which is going to a shooting range. Thats right, nothing screams the south more then right to bear arms.
As if Andi could not be anymore bad ass then she already is, she owns a gun better then any guy. She did not miss one shot and was so excited for her man to try it out. Sadly Juan Pablo can only play soccer. This guy can not shoot a gun to save his life. On top of that he was shaking like a leaf to have a gun in his hand. Man up Juan!! Andi told him that she can not take him home to meet the family if he can not shoot a bullseye. By the time Juan Pablo got one the day was half over, there was maybe two hours left for him to meet anyone in her family. Not gonna lie, watching el bachelor miss shot after shot was kind of a turn off. But he tried so that counts.
As soon as Andi brought Juan Pablo home the tension immediately started. Her mother, her sister and her brother in-law all greeted Juan Pabs with open arms. Everyone besides her dad who is named Hy. As in, "Hy how ya doin?" Andi and Juan Pabs recanted for her family all of the dates that they went on together, but they were all group dates. Hy, already a few drinks in, seemed disgusted that Andi did not get a one-on-one date until recently. Yeah Hy, you and everyone else is disgusted about that. It was then in an interview that Hy gave a line that was laced with whiskey and sarcasm that basically sums up the entire show in one sentence. He said, "Im looking at two people who are a little infatuated with each other. I see that she likes him a lot, but he might be infatuated with her and with the three other girls on the show!" Bam! Right on the money there Hy. "Up until now its all fun and games. They are running around the world. She's one attractive girl and he's an attractive guy with three other girls!"
During Juan Pab and Andi's mom conversation it seemed like Andi's mom was feeling Juan Pabs and Juan Pabs was feeling Andi's mom. The two began to flirt about their dancing skills. Look out Andi, your mom may be moving in on your man. A five women competition may be on the horizon. When Juan Pabs sat down with Andi's dad, however, he wasn't able to flirt his way to approval. When Juan Pablo asked her dad for a blessing Andi's dad did not give it to him. He told Juan Pablo that he will only give approval to a guy who says that his daughter is the one and only woman for him. He told him when all of this is said and done and Andi is the one at the end they will have this conversation again. It was here that Hy became my favorite parent to ever be on the show. Andi kissed Juan Pablo goodbye and she reveled that she is very close to falling in love with him.
Juan Pablo's next stop was to see House Mom Renee in Sarasota, Florida! Renee was excited to see Juan Pablo, but what she was more excited about was to be reunited with her son Ben whom she hasn't seen in weeks. Ben ran up to his mom dressed head to toe in his baseball gear. He will be a heartbreaker one day no question about that. Juan Pablo then starts talking to Ben like they were old buddies and Ben was not having it. Sure, he was polite but even at 8 years old he knows that he his mom can do better then this guy. Renee and Juan Pablo spent time at Ben's baseball game where Renee looked so happy. Its the simple things like watching her sons little league game with the man she is in love with that make Renee's world go around. "I don't want this game to end!" Renee told the cameras with a giggle. Sorry honey, its gonna end.
After the game, Renee brings Juan Pabs back to meet her family and it is here that we are introduced to Renee's mom and dad and hot brother. Seriously what is up with all of the hot brothers of these girls, damn. Id rather watch them then Juan Pablo. Renee spends some time with Ben while Juan Pablo gets to know her family. Renee's mom asked all the right questions and Juan Pablo gave her the right answers. You could tell that even during that short time with Juan Pablo Renee's mom knew that this guy was not for her daughter. The House Mom's mom seemed like a no bullshit lady and I liked that about her. What I especially liked is that Renee comes from a normal family. No one is weird, uncomfortable or slightly drunk. This is a whole lot of normal which is a nice change of pace for this show.
Renee revels to her mom that she is, "Totally madly crazy in love with Juan Pablo." Oh lord. Her mom told her that she just wants her to be happy. Renee also expressed that her parents have been right about every guy she ever brought home. Telling her daughter that all she wants is for her to be happy was a cop out. Her mother knew that this spanish speaking dumb dumb is not for her daughter. Like Nikki, Renee failed to tell Juan Pablo that she loved him once he left her house.
Hometowns are supposed to be filled with drama, disapproving parents, crazy siblings and maybe a few tears. While we got a small taste of disapproving parents in Andi's hometown date, we didnt anything else on that list. Who better to fulfill all of our desires then the crazy ass herself, Clare. Thats right, we all know that she just didnt fall out of a crazy tree and then began her journey through life. People are responsible for nurturing that woman and we are finally introduced to the gang of people who did just that.
Clare began her hometown date by taking Juan Pablo to the park where she talked some more about her dad. This time, however, even crazy Clare can bring a small tear to a viewers eye with another dad story. This time it was about how her father would never dance at her wedding. He told Clare to pick the song that she wanted and that they will dance to it before he dies. He kept his promise and did just that for his daughter. The story is extremely sad and heartwarming at the same time. Even though Clare is nuts and uses an excuse to tell a dead dad story any chance she can get, her dad seems like a nice normal guy. Clare then explains how she sees qualities in Juan Pablo that her father had. Clare, there is no way those two are parallel in anyway. Your dad seemed great, this guy, he's meh!
When they arrive at Clares home Juan Pablo is introduced to Clares sisters, there are a lot of sisters who added nothing to the date, her brother in-law and her mother. Now there are a lot of sisters but Clare only cares about her sister Madelyn's opinion. Yeah, have fun with that little fact at Christmas dinner. Take that other sisters. Clare of course talked about how wonderful and magical he is and Madelyn totally went along with it. The only problem is you can't bullshit all the sisters.
Before we board the crazy train lets play a game. Its called Is That Her Grandmother or Her Mother?
Mamma did not speak the entire time, but she did however speak once she sat down with Juan Pablo. But turn of events, Mamma speaks fluent spanish. Yes her children call her mamma with a country twang but she really speaks spanish. Um, what? Mama hits it off with Juan Pablo and Clare no longer feels the need to have her older sisters approval anymore. Ah, yes, crazy crazy families.
At the rose ceremony it came down to Andi and Renee, but in the end the house mom was sent home. While it was so sad to see we all know that Renee can do so much better then Juan Pablo. She was the classiest woman this season and she may not be leaving the show with a man, but she is leaving with a new addition to her resume: Therapist.
Tomorrow night shit gets real as Juan Pablo continues to break down that language barrier. Yes, two months in and there is still trouble understanding certain phrases such as, "You're a douche!" Until tomorrow everyone!