To start off I would like to personally thank the producers of 'The Bachelor' for not only finding the drunkest, oddest, youngest, oh yes I'm talking about that 21 year old going after our 33 year old bachelor, but all around craziest girls for this season. It has only been three episodes and it is as if we have gone through an entire season with the emotional breakdowns, tears and crazy that has taken place. Now there are some obvious front runners this season already and their names are Britt and Whitney. Britt is a waitress with beautiful brunette hair that seems to reach her ankles while Whitney is a spunky blonde fertility nurse with the most annoying voice on the planet. But this is not about them. This is about the crazies that live in the mansion with them. Now lets break this all down and tip our hats off to the producers. Man, they are good.
Tara made not one, but two moves out of the limo, and the moment she stepped out we knew there was something a little off. She made it clear that her three best friends are, "Jameson, Johnny Walker and Jack Daniels. Im a f--kin' train wreck." Someone please put that on a t-shirt. After seeing her almost pass out at the rose ceremony, everyone was 99% sure she was going home. Instead, Chris kept her and she cleaned up her act but it wasn't enough to keep the spark going seeing as she was gone week 2. She left in the true bachelor way-crying in the driveway about how she will never find love. Tara, you have the entire package to be featured on 'Bachelor In Paradise'. Producers, please if you don't stick her on that island you would be doing the fans a disservice. Where does she rank on the crazy scale? Not that crazy the girl just wants to get drunk and have a good time. Who can really blame her.
Well just look at that young face. She's down right adorable isn't she? She looks like she belongs on the poster for a sorority rush at a big school like Alabama. If you thought the same thing you are absolutely 100% wrong. Meet Mackenzie, the 21 year old single mom to her son Kale, yes Kale. At the young age of 21 she is just looking for a husband and a honorary baby daddy to her young son. She just made the cut to be on the show because lets face it, all these girls need to be drunk and of age. Although, I doubt they card at the Bachelor Mansion. Mackenzie got a first date early on and the entire thing looked extremely awkward. It was like watching Ashton Kutcher hanging out with one of Demi Moore's daughters-it is the same age difference. She asked Chris if he believed in aliens and just LOVES to talk and show pictures of her kid. Where does she rank on the crazy scale? Girl is just immature and has a very scary laugh so she's not that crazy.
No no thats not a long lost Kardashian sister you're looking at. That's just Ashley I. Last week she was really upset that Chris opted for a pool party instead of the regular cocktail party because she really really wanted to do her Kim Kardashian makeup look for the cocktail party. That alone should explain how this girl is. Ashley I. is also one of 2 virgins living in the house. Yes, not just one virgin but 2. Side note: Mackenzie is extremely jealous of that fact because she can't even lie about being a virgin. She has a kid...hello (Mackenzie's words not mine). Anyway Ashley I. is basically a ticking time bomb. She cries when she doesn't get her time with Chris and she is constantly thinking she is getting a rose on every single group date. Yeah girl, you scream front runner material. Where does she rank on the crazy scale? She's pretty up there. Anyone who is truly going after any look by Kim K definitely has a lot of pent up crazy.
What you can't tell from this photo is that this chick is jacked. Jillian is a news producer but what she forgot to mention is that she works out more then any juice head. Her muscles may be bigger then Chris'. Jillian has the crazy eyes and laugh and she looks at Chris like she wants to eat him. The running joke of the season is apparently Jillian's hairy ass. When Jordan, another drunk this season, got well...drunk, she reveled that Jillian has a very hairy ass. The producers took that little fact, true or not, and ran with it. Now whenever Jillian is shown with short shorts or a bathing suit there is a huge black bar over her ass. Also during one rose ceremony, she thought Chris called her name. She started walking over proudly only to find out halfway there that he actually called over someone else. Girl slipped on the rug, fell, and let out a terrifying laugh that would make any small child cry in fear. Where is she on the crazy scale? Extremely high.
Remember how people have said you can tell how crazy someone is because you can see it in their eyes? One look at Ashley S. and you know this bitch is off her rocker. Ashley S. has taught us all that people are like onions and you need to peel them back layer by layer. If you would like Ashley S. to explain this to you first hand, check out her explanation here. A fun fact about Ashley S. is that on her bucket list she wants to run through the sunflower fields while also riding a horse. Also during a group date where the girls went on a zombie killing spree Ashley S. she believed that she was hunting actual zombies. Zombies are fictional, but to Ashley S. she views them as life or death. There is really no way to fully explain how crazy this girl is. The only way to find out is to watch this video from the zombie date. Where does she rank on the crazy scale? She needs treatment, actual treatment. But she continues to get roses. Yeah, she's the wifey type.
Welcome to Recap with Lauren. My name is Lauren if you couldn't already tell. I put a lot of nonsense on here. I have no business giving you fashion advice but if you need a recommendation for a good bottle of wine or coffee I'm your girl!