Now the season premiere of The Bachelor is my favorite episode of the entire season. Not only does Chris Harrison have to remind the audience who he is and who the bachelor is five times in the first twenty minutes, but we get to see the clips that the producers have put together to show us who some of the women are. It is here where we can separate the crazy, from the extremely insane.
Its hard to pick just one stand out montage because lets face it all of them are extremely cheesy and staged. The one who takes the prize though is Lauren H. Now Lauren H in the beginning is your typical girl. She's twenty five, a pretty brunette, her family is everything to her, but of course there is one missing thing. She doesn't have that one person she can really share her life with. Wait, actually scratch that. She did. She was engaged for six months, and then one day out of the blue her husband to be calls her to tell her that its over. Now this is sad, but you forget about all of that as soon as she pulls out her wedding dress from the closet. She gently runs her hand down the front, and that is when I realized that producers have outdone themselves again. The clip then cuts to Lauren sitting on a park bench looking across the water to see a wedding!! Yes, as she is recanting her breakup, they stick her right in front of a stranger's wedding. On top of all of that she also pulls out the engagement ring. The fact that she was perfectly fine with all of this being on national TV floored me. It was all too good.
Now with this being season 18 of the show, it's hard for any of these women to look creative when they first meet the bachelor. All of the entrances were extremely stale besides the girl riding in playing the piano. She was so nervous that she forgot to say her name when she met Juan Pablo, but being the gentleman that he is he ran after her to catch her name. She of course was mortified, but it was all good because she already had a glass of wine in her hand when Juan Pablo came after her.
Side Note: I really want to know if the producers greet the girls at the door with a glass of wine and say to them, "There is unlimited wine. Do not be shy! Really. Drink."
Everyone has their favorite ladies when they first meet Juan Pablo, and everyone knows who the crazy ones are going to be. Usually viewers are not surprised by who gets the honored first impression rose, but this season I can speak for everyone when we say, "Really, this bitch? Right here?" The first rose went to Sharleen who is a opera singer. The conversation between Juan Pablo and Sharleen was a snooze fest. He was charming, and she was just stiff as a board. The girl was not nervous, she just did not feel a connection between the two of them, but to everyones surprise she got the first rose. She was not the least bit elated and a group of blonde valley girls began plotting their revenge against her. Oh yeah the wine bottles are not even half empty, and women are already out for blood.
Quick favorites for me are Andi and Nikki. Andi is this super hot lawyer who comes off as a little too smart for Juan Pablo. Andi looks like the bitchy girl who you probably hated in high school, but she's the girl you loved drinking with in college. The two hit it off quickly, and by the preview that was shown for this season she gets at least one "magical" destination with the bachelor. Nikki is this cute blonde pediatric nurse who comes off as an actual human being. Girl also knows how to play her cards right. When she first met Juan she told him to put a stethoscope to her heart so he knows how nervous she is. Now I am no doctor, but I can tell you that her heart is not in between her boobs. Anyway, she got his attention and he remembered everything about her as soon as he sat down to speak with her.
Remember Lauren H from earlier? Yeah, she was the one who had a breakdown. Shocking right? Apparently she was "really out of her comfort zone" and just wanted Juan Pablo to notice her. Juan Pablo just realized what country he is in Lauren H, the last thing he's trying to do is notice you. Long story short she pulled herself together only to completely blow it and talk about her failed engagement. Back to watching weddings on a park bench you go!
The most disturbing part of the night had to be when a woman named Amy J brought Juan Pablo out to the front the mansion, and she laid him down on a massage table. She's a massage therapist who "just loves feeling peoples bodies." He lays down on the table, she oils up her hands and then begins to give him a massage through his suit. The entire time she is doing interpretive dance moves with her eyes closed, and it was equivalent to watching a car crash. She talked to him as if she was talking to a small child, and huge shocker she didn't get a rose.
The first rose ceremony is always boring because no real drama has happened yet. This season though provided viewers with the most awkward moment in the franchise history. Juan Pablo called a girl named Kat, and a girl named Kylie stepped forward all smiles. Juan Pablo just stood there and was like, "I said Kat, go back to your spot." Kylie tried to laugh it off, but it was just awkward for everyone. All I have to say is Kat and Kylie do not even sound the same. Even people with the same name don't get mixed up during rose ceremonies. Kylie was a huge no for me the moment she stepped out of the limo. Not only is she a bottle job red head, but she was wearing a pink dress with pink lip stick with her red hair. There is too many things wrong with that picture. Kylie did not get a rose, and I'm relieved.
Next week the one on one and the group dates! Basically the drunk cries and backstabbing starts next week, and it can not come soon enough!!