Clare wasted no time recapping the events of what happened in the ocean last week and how she really feels about it. "We did nothing wrong," she continues to say. Honestly the more this gets dragged on the more it becomes ridiculous. If they had sex in the ocean, yeah thats a little wrong, but a nice 4am swim is nothing but childs play.
Moving away from Clare and all of her crazy, Andi was given her first one-on-one date! After six weeks of patiently waiting for the spanish speaking man to sweep her off of her feet, Andi finally got what she was waiting for. Juan Pabs picked her up and their date started on a speed boat ride which was equivalent to something you would find on the bayou. This is The Bachelor so the speed boat did show a lot more class then just a big giant fan pushing them around on the water.
Juan Pabs told her strip down and the two jumped in the cold water. They began to venture through this tight cave as Andi was shivering in her one piece bathing suite. Remember she sends criminals to jail for a living, she is not a two piece bathing suite type of girl. She wasn't that cold because the entire walk through the cave she began rattling off different metaphors for how this journey is a lot like a relationship. She talked about commitment, safety and trust which are the three words all of these women use when wanting to relate a situation to falling in love. They finally made it through the cave and to a huge waterfall. The cold water they walked through did not matter anymore seeing as though the water from the waterfall was extremely warm. They then began to make out under the water fall...shocking.
The date then moved to a hot spring where the two were bundled up under the covers and just stared at one another. Seriously these two just stared at one another and just said how much they like the other person. Come on Andi where is your story about a tortured childhood, alcoholic parents or maybe you have an ex-fiancee looming in the shadows? Give us something! Sadly there was not real story to tell and the date was just spent with smiles and sunshine between the two. Andi got the rose and then they made out some more. Really, nothing dramatic happened on this date, that is literally all it was.
The group date card arrived that read "Let Love Roll," and House Mom Renee, Nikki The Nurse, Cassandra, Sharleen, Chelsie and Kat were all on it. That meant Crazy Clare got the second one-on-one of the season. Cassandra was not a happy camper because the day of the group date would be her 22nd birthday! All she wants is a one-on-one date with Juan Pabs for her big day, but sadly she has to spend it with the rest of Delta Bach. Fun Fact: She lost the one-on-one date to Clare who is ten years older then her.
The group date started off on a beautiful green mountain in New Zealand. Of course none of the girls spoke because they were all praying that Juan Pablo would tear them away from the group first, but he didn't and Chelsie swooped in and took their man. Some of the girls thought this was a little rude, but lets cut the shit. You all would have done it too. Calm down.
After the picnic Juan Pabs wanted to break some tension, which in the world of The Bachelor means stripping down to your bathing suit and having some fun. No this was not a hot tub date, it was something even better. The ladies got to sit in these giant blow up balls called Ogos and they then rolled down a hill in them. Leave it to Nikkie The Nurse to whore up the group date because she got a little action in the Ogo. During her interview after her roll down the hill she was smiling ear to ear as she told the audience, "Um we kissed in the Ogo...twice!"
House Mom Renee was the first to spend some one-on-one time with el bachelor during the cocktail party and it is here that Juan Pablo explains to her that her and Cassandra are, "my special ones." Now if a guy was telling me I was one of the special ones I would take that as a good sign, and Juan Pabs does. But they are the special ones because they each have a child at home. Then they made out and Renee talks about how she wants to kiss Juan Pablo, "For the rest of my life." These two have definitely left the friend zone after a month and are finally getting into things.
The Kiss King continues down his string of ladies by immediately making out with Sharleen as soon as they sit down. These two still make zero sense to me and I do not understand why he likes her so much. Sharleen was not having the make out session right away. She pulls away, laughs and then tells him, "You cut right to the chase don't you?" Which Juan Pabs then says, "Whats does thats means?" Ladies, again, use small familiar words in English that he can understand. Do not throw around sayings like that because the Juan Pabs gets confused. Sharleen then tells him that this process is just so, "Inorganic" to her. No shit Sharleen. Please realize what show you are one because it will never be organic.
The former NBA dancer Cassandra just wants a rose for her 22nd birthday. The girl probably needs a few shots as well, but all she is asking for is a rose and time with Juan. That is not too much right? Cassandra really sees a future with el bachelor and wants their relationship to grow. Their one-on-one time was one sided as Cassandra just talked the whole time about the future and what she wants their relationship to be. Cassandra thought that it went well, but sadly Juan Pabs was not feeling the same. He gave the group date rose to Sharleen, again what the hell does he see in her, and then he sent Cassandra home on the group date. Juan Pabs did not know that it was her birthday because she did not want to make it a big deal, which was mature on her part. It was sad to see Cassandra go, especially on her birthday, but Juan Pabs did not want her to wait around two more days for a rose ceremony and wanted to be fair to her. Props to the both of them and Cassandra left gracefully. No mental breakdowns and no I hate yous. She's only 22, she will be fine.
All aboard the crazy train! Clare's second one-on-one date had her feeling some pressure after what happened last week in Vietnam. She was not sure that Juan Pablo even wanted her there and all she wanted was to talk and clear the air. The two shared a very low key date sitting by the water on some rocks and talking about what went down in the water. It was here where we all realized that they did not have sex in the ocean. All they did was frolic around like two crazy teenagers. As for this disagreement I have to side with crazy ass Clare. Juan Pabs made it a bigger deal then it had to be and he apologized for making Clare cry and for his actions. At least he apologized, and of course Clare accepted the apology. Clare then asked what their boundaries are now and then Juan Pabs explained to her how he was with past girlfriends with his daughter Camilla. He never kissed a woman in front of Camilla, he never held hands with a woman in front of Camilla and he never spent a night with a woman when Camilla was there. Alright, Juan Pablo, hate to break it to you but you are doing all of those things on national TV and Camilla is eventually going to see that. They never set actual boundaries but they did kiss and make up, and then Clare's crazy eyes came out. She smiled and said, "Was that our first fight?" Please.
The date took an even more low key turn as the two talked and ate food on the couch later in the date. It was here that Clare told Juan Pablo how in past relationships when things got hard or confusing she would just bolt. This should raise other questions but for Juan Pabs it raised this question, "Whats does thats means? Bolt?" Ladies, again, stop using these everyday sayings that other people understand besides this guy. Clare explained to him what that means and he smiled and nodded. Then he began using that phrase. If Juan Pablo does not leave with a woman, at least he is leaving with different sayings and words to expand his vocabulary. What he needs is Rosetta Stone and not the sisters of Delta Bach teaching him new words. For the first time all season I actually understood these two as a couple. Clare is crazy, but not as crazy as we all might have originally thought. The two finished the night wearing sweatpants and dancing around the living room to the song that played on their first date in the snow...how romantic. Clare got a rose and all is well in Crazy Clare land.
For the first time this season we got to see Juan Pabs and the beloved Chris Harrison sit down and chat about the women before the rose ceremony. We never see these interviews happen even though they shoot them every week. When they do in fact use the short interview it just means that there was not enough crazy to fill the two hours for the show. The best thing about these interviews is at the end when the bachelor stands up and then turns around to look at the framed pictures of the girls. When the producers add the creepy dramatic music in the background this scene makes the bachelor look like a stalker who is about to kill one of the women and he is just trying to decide which one to send off.
The cocktail party before the rose ceremony was filled with nerves for the sisters of Delta Bach. Nikki The Nurse was pissed because this is the first rose ceremony since the first one that she does not have a rose. Damn Nikki The Nurse you better up your game girl. The two spend their one-on-one time talking about how much they like each other. It was three minutes of mushy stuff that if you didnt watch the episode you can fast forward.
The big battle of the night was between the two blondes Kat and Chelsie. Chelsie spent her time with Juan Pabs telling her that she has been feeling a little frazzled. Juan Pabs then asks the question of the week, "What does thats means?" Ugh, Juan come on man! Get it together. At least he remembered that Chelsie has used that word with him before. She continued to tell him how she feels a little behind compared to the other girls but she wants to be there and to continue to see where their relationship goes.
Kat on the other hand thinks that Chelsie is getting the boot and that she is going to stay if it comes down to the two of them. In her plan to convince Juan Pablo to keep her around, she opens up to him and tells him another story about her alcoholic father. Nothing will impress a man more then airing out your past. Things got heavy and emotional for Kat, but she wanted Juan Pablo to know that about her because that is who she is. She was sure that she would be getting the rose.
Rose ceremony time came around and it in deed came down to Chelsie and Kat. Only one blonde would make it out alive in this ceremony and who would it be? Small town girl from Ohio Chelsie got the rose and Kat was sent packing. Kat wasn't dancing out of the rose ceremony this week. In her limo ride home she told the camera, "I've spent my whole life with people telling me how great of a person I am and how great of a catch I am but here I sit." Yeah because when you talk about yourself like that you are basically putting yourself in the loser limo to go back home!
As Juan Pablo was saying his goodbyes to Kat, Sharleen was inside holding back tears as she explained how she is not sure Juan Pablo is for her and how she thinks there are other women better suited for him. She says that she will give it another week and if she doesnt feel anything she will leave. Really? Week 6 you are realizing this? I could have told you that you guys would never work out by the first night, but what do I know.
Next week the international tour comes to an end as the women head back to the states with el bachelor to Miami. Sharleen cries, Nikki The Nurse and Crazy Clare fight and then Juan Pablo cries. Who will get the boot and who will stay to continue on the journey to find love with a man who still does not know English.